The Indian Feminist's Story:

 

Mental health is such an important topic to me as not only is it something I've experienced but I've seen how others have had to struggle through it without receiving the help they deserve because of how our society views mental health.  

Being a teenage girl was hard, but being in brown family made it honestly so much harder. Like any young teenage girl I would obsess over my appearance and try to fit in with my peers in my affluent white neighbourhood, whilst also having all the added pressure in my very strict and tradition home of not "doing the wrong things that are against our culture". There were so many cultural clashes - I felt like I really wasn't fitting in either community. I would get teased for not shaving at school or having a boyfriend and I would get told off at home for trying to be too 'westernised'. One day when I was 12 my parents sat me down and told me I was no longer allowed to go to my friends homes, no longer allowed to have sleepovers, I couldn't even visit my best friends home anymore because she had an older brother, and I had to keep making excuses when she invited me over because I was too embarrassed to tell her the reason. They once saw that I had texted a male friend "what's up" and took my phone off me that whole year. I really placed a huge emphasis on being social so all of this began to affect my mental health. I rebelled against my family and eventually became depressed- I began to "cut" my wrists and my thighs. I remember whenever I performed kirtan at the gurdwara I would worry that when I played the harmonium my sleeve might slip back and "expose" my scars to the community. 

What got me through was counselling and focusing my energy into parts of my life that I COULD control- my grades.     

Long story short I ended up excelling in the last few years of highschool and got a place in a competitive univeristy course - my parents have also 'loosened up' massively. For those who feel like they'll never see the light at the bf of the tunnel: keep holding on, it'll all be better I promise you.