Thurka's Story:

 

This is how happy I get when I see my therapist, I may not always look like this when I am sitting across my therapist but it was how I “felt” the last time we chatted.

There have been times when my therapist is the only person I feel comfortable enough to sob in front of. It was through my therapist I learned crying is a form of stress relief. I had been conditioned to believe crying was shameful for a large part of my 20’s.

Sometimes I tell my therapist “well, my problems aren’t real there are people in this world suffering through wars”, and my therapist says dismissing “real” problems isn’t healthy or rational in healing mental wellness … especially because it isn’t relative to ones lived experience.

I think I learned to dismiss sorrow growing up in an immigrant home, with resilient parents who fled the Tamil civil war and had their own unresolved traumas/problems.

I’d have better tools equipped to handle my stressors and learned behaviour if my parents would open up to me, but I can see it’s painful for them to do that. Patience really is a virtue. In recent months I can see a glimmer of hope when I speak to my mom, but often it’s met with objection.

To me, mental wellness and therapy is like an annual check up to my family doctor (and a couple more visits here and there). Except instead of having blood drawn or peeing into a cup, I talk to a person about my everyday set backs, fears and victories. It’s like having a friend who you pay or use your benefits/OHIP to converse with in a safe space.

That’s why I was smiling the last time I saw my therapist, because I could share all the tools she’d provided me with and how I’d been practising them ... we were both proud of me. And we know I will fail, and I will cry, and then I will pick myself up and keep going because some days will be harder than others. That’s mental wellness, being you but celebrating the small victories and accepting the failures as a part of the journey. There is no success, without failure. .
📸: @_tyba_ .

If anyone wants to chat about mental health, shoot me an email ❤️